All the Good Things & the Bad Things

People back home often ask me what it’s like to be a Peace Corps Volunteer in Honduras. Some of the most frequently asked questions are:

1.       Do you like it?

2.       What do you do?

3.       Do you have a bathroom? A shower?

4.       What does it look like where you live?

5.       Do you feel safe?

6.       And almost everyone says, “Well at least, I bet you’re learning a lot.”

I do not mind answering these questions at all because naturally, one would be curious as to what in the world I am doing in Honduras. Sometimes I ask myself, “Carlita, What in the world are you doing in Honduras?” Depending on my mood, the answers vary. In this blog post, my goal is to debunk a little bit what my life is like here with a pair of lists: The Good and The Bad.

What’s the rule? Start with the Bad first? Here goes…

The Bad

1.       Gender roles. As a product of the Y generation (or am I Z?), I feel like I have never been “confined to a gender role” as an anthropology teacher might say. From my earliest memories, my parents both worked outside of the house, they both made food (Or at least they could both call Jake’s Pizza…just kidding, parents!), and they both cleaned (at least Dad irons and hangs his clothes to dry around the house). So, I suppose that as a child I was relatively unaware of gender stereotypes. However, just like that moment when we all realize that Santa is not real, there was a moment when I started to understand that not everyone in the world felt as free and easy to act like a tomboy or a girly-girl as I did.  During college, I studied a lot about machismo or the concept in Latino culture (and this is just my on the fly definition) that men are the natural leaders and “owners” if you will of a society; basically, they are superior to women. Here in Honduras, I have to live with machismo and its consequences every day.  Here are some of the main consequences of machismo where I live:

a.       Daily commentary in the street from men as I pass by (Hi my love! Goodbye doll! I love you—in broken English. You are so hot, etc.) and the very offensive kissing noises that make my skin crawl and my fists clench.

b.      Having difficulty explaining why I leave the house so much.  I live in one place and work in another. Thus, I have to leave the house daily and often I have to leave the village to go into the cooperative or to use the internet, etc. A lot of women here spend the majority of the day in their house cleaning, making food, and doing household chores. It is for something special (a visit to the doctor, someone’s birthday, church) that a woman leaves my community to go into town. So, I get rather frustrated when people say how I am very “paseadora” which basically means that I like to go out and do things/see things. It does not have a negative meaning but I feel accused of not doing “women’s work” sometimes. Luckily, my skin is pretty thick and I just call back, “I’m off to work” or “off to a meeting” or whatever.

2.       Crime/Security

a.       As some of you may have seen recently, there was an article in the Sunday New York Times about gangs in San Pedro Sula & Tegucigalpa.  Basically, it describes the dangers of the cities and the high rate of collateral damage that the gangs cause in these cities. Both cities have very high murder rates (they are #2 and #6 on a recently published list of cities with the highest murder rates in the world…Ciudad Juarez in Mexico, El Paso’s sister city is #1).  In addition to violent crime, there are lots and lots of petty crimes. Compared with all other countries that I have been in, access to guns in this country is unparalleled.  Because of that, the big cities are not the only places of elevated risk. As a PCV, I regularly hear about other volunteers’ encounters with crime (pick pocketing, home break-ins, assaults, etc.) as well as community members’ fears.  Honduras is definitely in a troublesome place in terms of security right now. However, there are lots of things that we all do here to lower our risk. For example, I really do not leave my house after 7 or 7:30pm, I do not carry valuables with me, I always tell people where I am going, and I try to go places in the company of others. Nonetheless, you always have to be on top of your game here and be hyperaware of your surroundings.

3.       “Fijese que…”

a.       This is a really common phrase here. In fact, I might here it about 25 times a day. Okay, among volunteers there are varying opinions as to the best way to explain this phrase. It is used to flake out of things, blow off commitments, express feelings of surprise or shock and as space filler when no one has anything to say. For example, if someone had previously committed to attending a workshop on making organic fertilizer but at the last minute cancelled, they might say: “Fijese que, tengo que lavar mi pelo.” This means: “The thing is, I have to wash my hair”.  Getting “fijese’d” as we say among volunteers is EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING because it happens a lot. It is part of the Honduran culture to not want to refuse or turn down direct invitations.  So, that means that a LOT of volunteers get frustrated on a daily basis because people break commitments. I guess it is a big American thing to just want to hear the straight truth. I would rather know right away if you don’t want to participate than get my hopes up that you are going to come to my training but at the last minute, you cancel. I can handle the truth!

4.       Unexpected/Unplanned (Teenage) Pregnancy/No Family Planning & the high risk of STDs/HIV & infidelity between partners

a.       Well, fijese que…there are all sorts of problems with these themes: pregnancy, unprotected sex with multiple partners, infidelity, lack of self-esteem, the repetition of generations every 12-18 years, etc. that make this a HUGE topic. It is hard to even scratch the surface here but I will try. It is not that I am saying that all teenage pregnancy here is bad. There are several teenage women that I know who are young mothers, have their own homes, and enjoy married family life. However, I would say that these women with healthy relationships are the exception to the rule.

b.      The Catholic Church. I am not sure why the Catholic Church (I mean the big Vatican one) does not like birth control or family planning. In Honduras, this belief/policy has had a large impact in this country because almost everyone is Catholic (and the rest are “Evangelicals”).  From my experience here, the idea of birth control is extremely taboo here and almost unheard of in the semi-rural and rural areas. A lot of men think of birth control or condom use as emasculating.  I often ask myself, “I wonder if they think that getting gonorrhea is manly?” Unfortunately, people hardly use birth control in any form but they definitely do not restrain their sexual activity. I find it odd that people will claim that it is not okay to use a condom but it is okay to have sex.

c.       Infidelity & Machismo: My host mom recently told me a story about our one of our neighbors was talking to her about the men in our town. Our neighbor said to my host mom, “I am pretty sure that your husband and my other Uncle are the only men in our town that have been faithful to their wives.”  My host Mom readily agreed with her.  The rates of fidelity in Honduras are very high for both men and women (it takes two to Tango, right?).  I would connect this to the fact that a lot of men here feel entitled to women and sex.  Additionally, there is not really a get-to-know-you/dating culture here in Honduras. In a lot of cases, young girls (14-18) get pregnant and are then swept off to live with their “husband’s” family (although few couples actually get married before getting pregnant). I think the lack of bonding without children/before marriage often results in an incompatible couple and an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage. Thus, husbands and sometimes wives look for attention/fulfillment in other places.  Results of this cycle include, more pregnancies, STD contraction, and of course, angry wives and husbands who sometimes seek revenge.

d.      Sex Education: It exists but not in an effective way, apparently. One of my friends here recently told me that she thinks any girl who has been to high school should know how to prevent pregnancy. Unfortunately, the message of being abstinent or using condoms or whatever has not gotten through…

e.      Self-esteem & Gender: I think that this just might be at the heart of it all.  When an entire sector of the society (in this case, men) is held in higher esteem and in a position of higher authority, there is bound to be conflict and a lack of progress.  From my experience here, I have witnessed how so many women view their roles as supporting their husbands, almost playing a supporting role to him.  In addition to serving him and following what he wants, they also take primary care of their kids, their parents (if the parents are elderly), and they might even have their own job or small business. This leaves the women here with little time to consider their own wants and needs. Additionally, I think girls here are taught by word and action to not say “no” to their fathers/brothers. They are expected to listen to their demands and requests for food, work, etc.  So, when a young woman is confronted by a young man about being his girlfriend or having a physical relationship, she is very accustomed to saying “yes”.  I think this culture where women are expected and taught not to refuse their husbands’ wishes leads to an unfortunate cycle of girls who do not think they have the right to say No.

The Good

1.       My fellow PCVs. Without my volunteer friends, I am nearly certain that it would be impossible to serve a full two years in Honduras. Volunteers are great resources for ideas, information, and skills as well as sources of comfort and understanding (I am trying not to write a Hallmark card rightnow). But, basically, volunteers are great friends.

2.       Host families. A lot of volunteers move into their own houses/apartments during their service but I have realized that I am much happier living with a family. My host mom Carmen is really cool, talkative, and funny. I spend a lot of time with my host siblings but only the youngest, Rolandito, still lives with us. Frequent activities that I enjoy with my host family include:

a.       Making bread with Carmen in her huge adobe oven.

b.      Helping in the farm, picking coffee during the coffee season, cleaning the pig, etc.

c.       Learning how to make corn tortillas over our fire. I can now make relatively normal looking tortillas. Huge personal victory!

d.      Watch telenovelas or soap operas at night. Right now is Triunfo del Amor and it is good. William Levy is the main male character and he is fine! But for real, it mixes religion, infidelity, and beautiful people together. SO it’s awesome.

3.       Women Leaders in Agriculture

a.       This is a conference that my project (Protected Areas Management) puts on every year. Basically, volunteers run the 3 day conference along with one community partner. It is all about sharing technical skills and ideas among women leaders in Honduras. We just had the conference about two weeks ago. My counterpart (Esperanza) and I presented about business feasibility, pricing, and costs. It was a really fun presentation. We did a lot of interactive stuff including a dramatization, a consumer survey, and a local business visit. It was cool to see my counterpart sharing her experience as a cooperative director with other women many of whom have not had any formal job experience.  At the end of the conference, we also talked about future plans and ideas to bring back with us. Esperanza came up with a great idea to have business training for wives of the cooperative’s associates who are interested in having their own small business. She also suggested that we aim

4.       Central America. Things are so close! I have been to El Salvador and I want to visit Guatemala, Nicaragua, Costa Rica & Panama. And Belize!  But, I think that I might do some traveling after Peace Corps for a hot second. Leaving site is stressful and I feel like I lose opportunities if I am gone for too long.

5.       The Beach/The Bay Islands. Roatán is amazing and I got to go SCUBA diving for the first time. The North Coast of Honduras also has some really beautiful and interesting beaches/towns. I recently visited Jeannette Kawas National Park (aka Punta Sal) and there are some photos on my facebook page. Of all the vacation spots in Honduras, I think that the Bay Islands and Copan Ruins have the top spots. The people there don’t open-mouthed stare at you and shout obscene things, there are people from all over traveling through, and they are both beautiful and interesting places.

6.       Communication via Letters. I love receiving unexpected/expected letters. I have been trying to respond as much as possible. However, the mail lady hates me because I always complain that she does not have change. And, I like to point out to her that given the fact that she has the business, she should indeed have change. She does not like my attitude and I think she might throw some of my letters in the trash. Fingers crossed that is not the case.

7.       Reading. I have read approximately 1 million books since being in Honduras. Actually, it’s probably more around 75. From John Grisham/NYT #1 Bestsellers crime novels to heavier stuff like Orhan Pamuk, I have taken advantage of slow evenings and even slower afternoons by reading. If you have any suggestions, throw them my way!

8.       WORK! Of course, this is the reason that I am here (well, at least some of the time, it is the reason I am here).  I have enjoyed the various opportunities that I have had so far. They include:

a.       Coffee cooperative…making the Direct Trade guidebook and doing some cupping/quality testing with a small group of associates; trying to get some worms to compost coffee pulp but this is a work in progress. Next on the list includes organizing the certification process. Certifications assure buyers that the coffee was produced in a particular manner and the parties involved are all responsible for meeting certain requirements about the environment, labor, and quality.  In return for their efforts, they are paid a certain amount extra per pound.

b.      School. They wanted me to teach gym. So, I am teaching gym. And, I am also trying to teach some basic environmental education/Bill Nye the Science Guy stuff too. Next up includes working with small groups of the parents to create a school garden. Hopefully the vegetables will be incorporated into the school snacks or sold to support school programs.

c.       Gardens. Just this week, a community member and I did some sheet mulching to create a vegetable/herb garden for his family. It was great to practice a new technique and get some veggies planted. I am waiting on some more seeds to continue planting and perhaps expand this to other families.

d.      Water project/protection. This is slow going but we are trying to assure that the water source for our community and a couple others stays as forest instead of pasture for cows. Basically, it involves finishing a water study and organizing a couple communities, a land owner, and local politicians…we will see if this happens in the next 1.5 years…

 

Well, I hope that this gives you a better idea of what life and culture are like here. Keep in mind that these are just my opinions and observations. I am more than willing to explain myself further if you have questions or doubts. And, if you disagree about my commentary, I would also like to hear. Thanks for reading.